I’m glad I started driving bus as a substitute bus driver. It gave me valuable experience and an important reference point. Having said that let me also say I don’t ever want to be a substitute bus driver again. Substituting is tough. You don’t know the routes, you don’t know who’s supposed to be on the bus and who isn’t, and, here’s the hardest part, you don’t know the kids’ names. I’ve learned that not knowing the kids’ names is like riding a horse without a bridal—you don’t have a lot of control. When you have your own route you get to know the kids names. That makes a difference, but just because you have a bridal doesn’t mean you know how to ride a horse.

I started my own route half-way through last school year. It took me quite a while to learn some of the kids’ names. The other kids’ names I never did learn. It took many of the kids the rest of the school year to quit asking me where their bus driver was.

“I’m your bus driver now.”

“Oh. So when is our bus driver going to be back?”

Some of the kids who weren’t afraid to sit up front started to get to know me and tell me things.

“You’re nicer than our last bus driver,” they told me. “You don’t yell as much.”

Another student mentioned that I got around the route much faster than the old bus driver.

“She stopped a lot to yell and make kids sit down.”

These sound like compliments to me, but even then, in my naiveté, I wasn’t so sure.

“I think I should be stricter,” I said.

“No! No!” they yelled.

The truth was I didn’t want to be like the other bus drivers I drove with. They did a lot of serious intercom enforcing. They scared me. I wondered if I was going to have to be like that. I wondered if I could be like that even if I wanted to.

First of all let me tell you that the bus driver I replaced drove for fifteen years and was a very fine bus driver. I rode with her a couple of times to learn the bus and the route and I did notice how quickly she got on the intercom to call kids out. She wanted kids in their seats facing forward and she wanted a low noise level. It took a lot of effort (and noise) on her part every day to make this happen.

When I started driving the route I was much more laid back. Even though I didn’t want to be a bus driver who did a lot of yelling my “laidback-ness” wasn’t so much a conscious choice as it was I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know the kids’ names so it was, “You! You in the back. Sit down.” The two kids standing and facing backward ignored me while the two kids sitting properly in the seat across the aisle looked at me and pantomimed, “Who? Us?” It was frustrating.

My line in the sand for the student’s behavior was a wavy one. I made sure they didn’t stand in the aisles, but other than that neither they nor I knew the boundaries. I did get the feeling that I was known as a nicer bus driver, but I also had an uneasy feeling that I wasn’t as good a bus driver as the one I replaced. The worry comes down to that possible moment you are in an accident. Kids could unnecessarily get hurt if you are letting them get away with unsafe behavior on the bus.

This year I determined to quiet my worries by drawing the behavior lines more clearly and enforcing them more consistently. I have learned a majority of the kids’ names and this helps a lot. I’m calling out names often telling them to “turn around and sit down.” I even stop the bus when I have to in order to enforce more safely. I’ve stopped the bus several times already. Oh, the looks I receive through the rear-view mirror. They roll their eyes. They salute. Their faces say, “I can’t believe I put up with this.” But they sit down and they are safer.

To those who think driving a bus is a nightmare, it isn’t. These kids, even the ones who give me the looks, are good kids. It’s true that they know the rules and are breaking them anyway, but that is usually just them trying to figure out who they are and how life works. Growing up is harder than most of us adults remember . . . or maybe it isn’t.

I know there are days when I am ornerier than other days. On those days I am gruff on the intercom. Mostly I try to remember the human being behind the breaking of the rule and to speak calmly. I’m often hearing myself telling them “thank you” whey they comply. The bus is doing pretty well this year. I feel a lot better even though I’m learning how to get my bossy on.