Bus Driver Diaries: I’m a Celebrity; Who Are You?

Being a school bus driver makes me something of a celebrity. Okay, so I’m no Taylor Swift or Dwayne Johnson, but in Nephi, Utah, I’m pretty big stuff. Although I may have to admit that most of the people in Nephi wouldn’t know my name, the people on my bus route know who I am. Scientifically speaking I have no data to disprove that it’s the yellow school bus they are responding to instead of me, but one thing I know is that people wave at me all the time. You can’t take that away from me.

No one told me that becoming a school bus driver would throw me into the public spotlight. Even though my bus driver training didn’t include ‘Paparazzi Management,’ I’m proud of the way I’ve adjusted to the attention. The truth is, I’m doing really well. People wave at me all the time, and I love it!

I first noticed the attention in the schools themselves. I was assigned to take the band to the elementary schools. The band gets a captive audience with whom it can strut its stuff and hopefully recruit future music legends to their ranks.

Before I say any more, let me tell you that what a bus driver does while waiting for students on activity trips is considered a trade secret. I can tell you that they are not required to attend the students’ activities. However, rather than waiting on the bus like a zombie—whoops, I might have said too much—when it’s possible, I like to go watch the students in whatever activities they are engaged in.

In the case of the jazz band I snuck in a side door to find a seat and watch. I was confused when I heard my name being called. I looked through the throngs of squirming elementary students to find one standing and waving at me. Then I spotted another, and another. Some I recognized as students who regularly ride my bus. Others I didn’t recognize and guessed that knew me from activity trips where I had been their bus driver. Although I wasn’t used to the attention I rose to the occasion and unabashedly waved back.

Next, my quiet trips to the grocery store were often interrupted by the wide eyes of children staring at me as they walked the other direction with their moms. They would wave shyly and then pull their mother down to where they can whisper in their ear. I can only imagine they are saying, “He’s my bus driver.” Of course it could be “Why is there jelly at the corner of his mouth?” or “Why does he dress so funny?” but I’m going with the bus driver hypothesis.

Lately I’ve noticed people waving at me as I drive down the street. This is heady stuff. I have to remember that just because people love me I am not actually better than anyone else. It’s not me; it’s the bus driver mantle I wear.

Sometimes it’s a child in the car stopped at the stop sign just ahead of me. They’ve swiveled around in their seat and are looking up through the back window and waving at me excitedly. Sometimes it’s kids walking home from school. I don’t know how they know me, but they perk up as the bus approaches and wave as I pass. Sometimes they only want me to blow my air horn, pumping their arms in the air. Oh, I blow it alright. I’ll take any excuse I have for the pleasure of blowing that air horn.

What intrigues me is the number of adults waving at me. They are usually in passing cars. Many of them catch me off guard. In my bus I sit high off the ground behind what amounts to a large picture window. I have to remember not to pick my nose or scratch because I am visible to the public. The drivers of the cars aren’t nearly so visible and I don’t notice they are waving until it’s almost too late to wave back. I usually don’t recognize these adults, but I’m fairly certain it’s me they are waving at. Why are they waving? It’s completely possible that it’s because I’m really hot stuff. Being fair minded I have to consider that it may only be that they are waving at a happy yellow symbol of their childhood or to someone they see as connected to their children. I’m going with the Hot Stuff hypothesis.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit it, but I enjoy the attention so much sometimes I dig for more. Some children walking home from school don’t seem to know who it is that is driving by. I will wave from behind my picture window to give them the opportunity of experiencing some really hot stuff. Some will look confused (celebrity can dazzle a little), but usually they will wave back. That makes me happy. Sometimes I’ll give a little squelch of the air horn first to get their attention, then wave. That usually makes them happy.

There is much more to being a school bus driver than most people understand. There is driving the big beast, and regulations, safety rules, and regulations, student management, and regulations, washing the bus, and regulations. Have I mentioned regulations, yet? But the best part of being a school bus driver is definitely all the waving. Yes, the waving is great.

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