In a Stepford Wives world bus driving would be a breeze. The kids would line up at their bus stop, greet the driver politely, and then find their seats. They would stay sitting, facing forward while chatting quietly with their seatmate or, perhaps, getting their homework done early. They wouldn’t get up until the bus has come to a full stop and the air break has been set. They would get off and wait in a group twelve feet in front of the bus until I give them the signal to cross. Yes, that is the Stepford Students version of things. As nice as that sounds to me on many days, in the end it would make bus driving unbearably boring. While a lot of what I just described does occur at one level or another, the truth is, things happen.
A couple of days ago I had picked up my 50 elementary students and was just pulling in to the high school. Twelve big kids got on there. When I was preparing to pull away from the curb, I saw Bella, one of my elementary students, walking up the aisle. I couldn’t leave until she was back in her seat. Feeling a little of the usual afternoon orneriness—the after-school energy level of the kids fills the bus with electricity—I asked a little brusquely, “What’s up?” This girl is bright and has quiet, knowing, eyes. She knew better than to be wandering around the bus right then.
“Lessy is eating,” she said.
“What?!” I had just lectured the kids that there would be no more eating on the bus. I was tired of sweeping up their discarded trash. I reached for the intercom to give Lessie a public lecture. Just as I lifted the mic I noticed that Bella was reaching for the paper towels resting on top of my big rearview mirror. What are you doing?” I asked. “Did Jessie spill something while she was eating?” I wondered why it was Bella up front getting the paper towels if it was Lessie who did the spilling.
“Lessy is bleeding,” she said.
“Bleeding? I thought you said ‘eating.’”
Bella smiled. “Do you have any band aids?” She was really looking after her friend.
I put the mic back glad that I hadn’t started yelling at Lessie yet.
A couple of weeks ago it was Valentine’s Day. When the bell rang, kids poured out of the school carrying the Valentine’s Day Boxes they had created. The boxes were adorable. I saw horse boxes, monster boxes, bear boxes (complete with fur), Barbie boxes, Minecraft boxes, and so many other great examples of creativity. The kids were all smiles and good vibes feeling the joy after their class parties that had been complete with valentine cards, candy, and chocolate. There’s hardly enough room on the bus for the kids by themselves; with their valentine’s boxes they were really jammed into their seats. In one seat I could barely see the three 1st graders underneath their boxes. They grinned up me.
Once again I was just getting ready to pull away from the curb when I saw a student walking up the aisle. “Hayley, get back in your seat. We’re leaving!” I became more annoyed when she ignored me. She’d never given me a bit of trouble before. When she arrived at my seat I snapped out a, “What?”
“My hand is stuck.”
“Your hand is what?”
“My hand is stuck.”
She raised her hand. I stared. It was inside a very pretty valentine’s box. “Well, pull it out,” I said, with a mixture of impatience and laughter.
“I can’t,” she answered, calmly. Her calmness calmed me a little. She had put her hand in through the slit where you were to slide valentine cards.
Ignoring the bus that was waiting behind me for me to get going, I took the box under my arm and pulled on her wrist. She was right. Her hand was really stuck. The cardboard of the box was thick. If I tried to yank her hand out it would hurt her.
“I’m going to have to rip the box to get your hand out. Is that okay?” I asked because her box was decorated so prettily.
“Yes,” she answered, with that same calmness.
After some careful effort, I managed to rip and loosen the opening enough for her to pull her hand out. That was a new one for my bus.
Just a few days later I had completed the journey from the school, over the ridge, to our small town. I was making my way through the usual stops enjoying how the bus was getting quieter and quieter as each group of kids got off. I pulled up to Topper’s stop and opened the door. In my mirror I saw Topper, a fourth grader, making his way to the front. Just then Alicia jumped up beside me.
“Do you want to hear a joke?” she asked excitedly. She was in my way so that I couldn’t see the stairs and door.
“Alicia, this is not the time to tell me a joke. Get back in your seat. You can tell it to me in a minute when everyone else is off the bus.”
As I said these words I became aware of the noise of struggling on the steps. When Alicia moved, to my horror, I saw Topper trapped in the doors which I had inadvertently shut on him. Half of him was outside and the other half was inside. These doors cannot do any harm, but I could see that Topper was frightened and confused as to why the doors had shut on him. In my distraction with Alecia I had pressed the “Close” button too soon. Of course I checked to make sure Topper was okay and apologized profusely, but he will probably never trust me again.
On days when Joey decides to give a concert with her whistle, or the kids in the middle are throwing a coat around the bus, or the Sinclair sisters are calling my name because one of them is “being mean” I feel like a Stepford version of students would be nice. But when I really think about it, if things didn’t happen, I would have no stories. And a life without stories is no life at all.
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